THE SONG: I don't often write in story form... or parable form... and I don't remember exactly what inspired me to do it with this song... but it felt like the right way to express the difference between God's perfect love and ours, which so often falls short or is, in some way, tainted by the pain we've gone through.... our sins... the sins of the world... our brokenness... our selfishness... This song holds a special place in me. It expresses something for me that no other song I've written does.
We all carry around baggage. And we started piling it on just after birth don't we? We have expectations... things we're seeking for good and bad reasons... and there's something deep inside all of us that craves a love that is perfect and graceful regardless of what we bring or don't bring to the table. I know I do. I've heard it described as "the God shaped hole". That sounds about right. That's the biggest hole I think.... but there are others. We need people. We need relationships and we want unconditional love even if we can't give it.
So this song tells the relational-love-pain-life-story of man, woman, and finally God.
I'll walk through the song... each section tells a story and builds to the end.
VERCE ONE: The male archetype. Man sort of at his worst. Strong, stoic, proud, self-centered, ambitious, sarcastic and detached (hence the sarcastic flavor to the lyrics: "give the man a medal..." good job sir, you're a jerk!). Mr. I got It Together. I think all of us men have varying degrees of this guy within us. Try getting unconditional love out of him for any length of time... ouch.
VERSE TWO: The female archetype. I could get into trouble here, attempting to sum up the female burden:) But, I think in some overarching basic ways, men respond to pain by acting outwardly strong... overcompensating maybe. Whereas I think girls/woman respond to being heart-injured through a different kind of acting out that is more about searching to fill a void through relationships that maybe aren't the best ones but that feel somehow familiar... in ways that can further hurt... and then guarding their real selves by building walls that are nearly impossible to scale.
I'll try to say it another way... Men tend to want to fill the void through broken ambitions, woman tend to fill the same void in broken relationships.
THE BRIDGE: This part goes into a more all inclusive place. Pulling back, looking at the whole thing. What are we all really looking for in this flawed search for unconditional love? For me, I realized the cure to this brokenness is found in Christ and I'm not afraid to say it... even if some people think it sounds preachy. After hearing this song, a friend of mine, (who isn't a believer), semi-pleaded with me to take out the blatant reference to Christ at the end of the bridge... it was almost as if it ruined the song for him. He even said something like "the song is going along great and would appeal to so many people... then you sing that last line and it really limits things and might turn people off... people I know..." Not an exact quote of course... but that line and the final chorus struck him as maybe starkly shockingly overly specifically narrow in some way... I think that's what he was a saying... and my response is: mission accomplished. That's what I believe and songs are where I express that with the most laser-beam specificity... if it's uncomfortable then good:) I'm uncomfortable too... just in different ways... it's honest and true and that's what matters... as long as there's love in there.
Hopefully the song says it better... that's what it's for:)
THE RECORDING: I tried to produce and arrange this song in such a way that it really told the story... and went all over the emotional map.... from playful and surface feeling, to deep and aching. The string quartet (The Section Quartet here again) are bouncy and playful in the verse. I picture a dude in a suit and tie checking himself in a mirror, giving himself a thumbs up. The chorus comes in and everything changes... drums are halftime everything is legato and flowing... aching. I used the softest shaker I could find. Dave Carpenter on bass playing beautifully simple.
The drums: My Custom Fatty Snare is in the chorus (explained in the "Reckless" notes). And it's my bronze Black Beauty in the verses. So there would be even more contrast between the playfully detached verses and the more authentically "heart on sleeve" deeper honesty of the chorus. Also, I played this song with big marching bass drum mallets, so it'd be nice and mushy and thick. I used these uber-thin hi hats as well... for even more gushy-mushiness. .. that's a Jack Dejohnette ride cymbal and some old crashes as well... earthy. The stereo room mics always got a lot of love on this album... as did the mono rom mic (U47). Neumann TLM 103's on the overheads... Sennheiser 421's on the toms... SM57 on the main snare and a 421 on the Fatty. D112 in the kick (DW X-Shell 23"x16"--amazing drum!). Oh and btw the toms are Gretsch... the same kit I got for Christmas when I was 11. My parents got it through the Recycler for $450! 5-piece Gretsch for $450. Nice job mom and dad:)
Vocals are through my vintage Telefunken U47 through a Neve 1073 mic pre into a Retro 176 Compressor into protools through an Apogee Rosetta. Always 48k, 24bit.
I used quite a few "Tape Head" plugins (and many others including the PuigChild, PuigTech, SSL Channel, Impact etc. etc.) across this album on various things to help get that warm tone.
:) Adam
Original Release Date: September 21, 2010