There's an urge to blame God for things that go wrong... or ways that I am... it's such confusing territory... I didn't ask to exist... but, freewill is a thing... a blessing and a curse... I am my own responsibility, but I'm not my own creation, I've been given this self to deal with... to continue to create... it's all so complicated... sometimes I don't know where to begin... it's an endless search...